Wednesday, June 3, 2009

My way of LIVING!

If life isn't confusing enough, there always seems to be a facade covering everyones TRUE character. Why do we have to pretend to be someone where not, i mean, is there any purpose to be living if you can't show your basic colors, emotions? I hate it how I wasted THREE years of my life, trying to become something that i am not, trying to be something just so that i could fit in. Really, are we afraid of being frowned upon by our friends, then they wouldn't be good friends would they? I have hid these emotions a bit too long, and now i know that there is nothing wrong about showing them. I use to suppress the emotions inside, put them aside in the darkest corners of my mind, and just forget. But why? Was it becasue it wasn't STRAIGHT enough for my friends, or was it the realization that inside i am not what i am portrayed as on the out. Uhhh, well i am glad that i am finally set free to be who i want be, do what i want to do, and live a life i want to live.
But it doesn't end there, my parents. YES! THE PARENT! They contradict themselves when they start to talk to me about ME! It seems that they want me to believe that it is okay to be who i am, but then they turn around the conversation and say "I think you should go to the doctor to make sure." I mean if i am not then i will eventually find out, life is to be lived so that we can experince things naturally. My life is meant to be lived and not decided by some psyco therapist! If i do turn out to be not who i think i am then so be it, its not like it will kill me or anything!!! I want to LIVE my LIFE and DWELL in MYSELF and MY FLAWS!

1 comment:

  1. No matter what, they'd accept you for who you are.
    But, like I said before, they probably just want to make sure. I mean... it's different to raise one who is, and one who isn't.
    You may argue that there isn't.
    But let me ask you this: you yourself said there was a difference in relationships between a guys, and girls. Don't you think as a parent, they'd treat your significant other differently?

    You are so pampered in life D< That's so much to say that you should live naturally. You haven't experienced living by yourself. I'll be honest: you haven't. You don't know how to tamper with the rice cooker. The most you can do is probably fry eggs and work that microwave. I mean, if I were your mother, I'd think it's really... sudden that you would become that. And since your laptop is filled with... stuff, I might feel as though it's just those shows that make you think you're that. Y`know what i mean? She's not you, she wouldn't know what you feel, what you've been through.

    YOUR LIFE is not to be decided by a therapist. Instead, it is to be an enhancer. I mean.. if you look back at it.
    If you aren't, you'd think, " OMGSDFJ ASFDKFJ HIS TONGUE :LAKJFDSAKSD ARGH! *cue the mouth wash" yaknow? I'm sure if you tell your mom you don't want to know the result, she won't tell you, and it'll just be for her discretion.

    :] i'll talk to you later tomorrowwwww . when i am feeling well enough to enter school once again.

    Boyyy, I hope you feel better.
    I love you, my dear babyybooo.